Choices

I believe in something called agency. Others might call it choice. All of us get to make our own choices. We expect others to allow us to make our own decisions. And yet, it seems that when it comes to children and adults...there are many adults that expect to be able to make choices for the children that are involved. When children are very small we do make choices for them. At some point they need to do that for themselves.
I've observed parents who say with their words that they allow their children to make their own choices and yet still have a very heavy hand in influencing that choice. It affects the child enough that they end up choosing what they know the adult would have them choose just because it ends up being easier. The child might not want to disappoint, seem rebellious, receive the promised 'consequence', feel unloved, or any other number of reasons. They might just want to keep the peace.
As the adult we need to let go. It's their decision not ours. It's their life nor ours. They need to learn to make decisions. They need to feel the autonomy. One day we will turn around and they will be grown. The all important life skill of decision making is critical for them to acquire. And just like everything else...it takes practice.

Belief Parenting

I have discovered something new. There have been times when others have asked me about parenting and parenting styles or strategies. I attempt to answer their questions according to the specific scenario because truthfully - I don't have a specific parenting philosophy that I follow.
I realized what I do is have a certain set of beliefs. There's also the factor of who I am...my personality, characteristics, and temperament. There are multiple factors that come into play. It's all of those things that make the parent that I am. It's not a specific system or strategy that I use every time.
I just realized a post in November talks about this very thing. I guess I've been doing more thinking. I've also given it a name - for now. Belief Parenting.